Sunday Thoughts
No matter how you feed your baby, it is perfect for your baby.
Breastfeeding
Formula
Purees
Baby led weaning
Bottle Feeding
Tube Feeding
Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN; IV Nutrition)
Combination of all or some.
YOU are the only one who knows what is best for your baby, your family, and yourself!
YOU are the only one who knows your particular situation!
YOU are the only one actually LIVING in YOUR daily life!
YOU are the only one who can actually make those decisions!
I have fed in every single way at this point.
Direct and Exclusive Breastfeeding
Pumping Breastmilk
Bottle Feeding
Combo Feeding
Formula Feeding Day 1 / Exclusive Formula Feeding
Purees
Baby Led Weaning
Tube Feeding
IV Nutrition Support (TPN)
Premature infants, Term infants, Toddlers, Children, Adults, Elderly...I
And guess what?!
They each have their own unique pros & cons!
Their own challenges.
Their own advantages.
Common concerns or issues associated with breastfeeding:
Latching concerns or problems / Poor Transfer
Engorgement
Low Supply
Mastitis
Maintaining Supply
Is baby getting enough?! How can I even tell?!
Returning to work
Social Stigma
Common concerns and/or issues associated with formula feeding:
Cost
Accessibility and Availability
Proper and Clean Preparation
Concerns for bacteria / contamination if using powder (not a sterilized product)
Digestive Troubles and Finding The Right Formula
Lack of education / information available - most focus is on breastfeeding prenatal
Misinformation galore
Social Stigma
Common concerns and/or issues associated with bottle feeding:
Finding the right bottle / nipple
Bottle and/or nipple rejection
Proper cleaning and sanitation (especially on the go!)
Temperature Control
Storage
Preparing Formula and/or Breastmilk appropriately
Social Stigma
Common concerns and/or issues associated with baby-led weaning:
Choking risks
Messy messy messy
Patience and time (as in expose a food over time, many times!) may be needed more than other weaning styles
Less control over portions
"Newer" style - family and others may not understand the process
May not develop skills with utensils as quickly
Social Stigma
Common concerns and/or issues associated with weaning with purees:
Limited texture exposure with potential for difficult transition to chunkier foods
Concerns for overfeeding
May be hesitant to use fingers or feed in others ways if always spoonfed
Lack of opportunities to practice chewing skills
Making specific foods
Time (As in someone sits down and feeds baby, literal time.)
Social Stigma
Common concerns and/or issues associated with tube feeding:
Formula tolerance
Risk of Infection
Formula availability and accessibility
Skin irritation
Tube maintenance
Tube Blockages or Displacement
Aspiration Risk
Cost
Logistical Concerns - travel, work, social
Social Stigma
I’ve mentioned how tough parenting is. The bare basic days of parenting can present with so many challenges - sleep deprivation, navigating cranky children and big emotions (from everyone!), keeping children fed/cleaned/engaged, teaching and disciplining, self growth, outside challenges (work, school), maintaining marriage or relationships with others,... and that's just the bare bare basics really...
Did you notice the one common experience that EACH of these feeding styles has?
Social Stigma
How can EVERY way to feed a baby... come with a societal stigma? ....
This truly is the one thing I hear unanimously on my platform as well...
Breastfeeding = "Cover Up", "You're doing that here? You should find somewhere more private." "Isn't baby too old for that?". "My xyzperson* doesn't need to see your boobs!" ....
Formula - "Full of chemicals", "Breast is best", "Why would you give that to baby", "You won't bond with baby", "You should try harder", "Formula feeding leads to... Obesity / Lower IQ / etc."..
Baby Led Weaning - "So unsafe!", "Baby is gonna choke!", "Is baby ready to eat that?", "Wow, baby is messy!", "Is baby eating enough?", "That's not how you were fed."....
Purees - "Baby won't be able to feed self!", "How will baby transition to other textures?", "So.. are you making these purees or buying store bought?", "I've heard that baby led weaning is best"....
Can we just support other in making the best choices for themselves?!
Why judge how another parent feeds…?? - or sleeps, disciplines, plays, works, etc....
Quick story that I always love to share = my own!
Our feeding journey looked very different between each kiddo. But, so did the rest of our parenting and life situation!!
Baby #1:
Started direct breastfeeding --> pumping + direct breastfeeding --> ~2.5 months = added formula into the plan & started combo feeding --> Combo fed via pumping breastmilk & bottle feeding + formula feeding until 5+ months old --> Transitioned to formula by 6 months & started to introduce foods --> Cow's milk ~ 1 year old
~1-2 months, I noticed signs of Postpartum Depression (but didn't recognize it at the time!). It wasn't until ~5 months & the fog cleared a bit that I realized the toll it had taken on my mind actually!
Weaning with purees primarily
Baby started sleeping in own crib ~5 weeks old and through the night ~3 months old!
Worked full time as a clinical R.D. (this was actually a good chunk of the time I was working in NICU!)
Baby went to grandparents house 5 days/week until 10 months old --> Started at daycare at 10 months! Baby would LITERALLY be the first one dropped off, I'd head to work, and baby was always amongst the tail end to be picked up each day.
Very different socializing opportunities - many of our friends and others we were associated with did NOT have children. Baby would come with us for fun adventures, but was primarily around adults more often than not.
I read to baby. OFTEN. In fact, I was selling books for a little while (lol).
Husband travelled occasionally for work, but primarily had both parents at home each night
Reality was though... we weren't all that happy. We were both in jobs that weren't exactly the 'fit' for us, both had long and busy work commutes, waking up at 5:00am and returning at 6:00pm, and our cost of living versus income was somewhat limited in our circumstance and location...
A few things we wanted to change specifically:
I wanted to work part time and be with the kids more
We wanted 1 acre of land/property
Affordable
This list may not sound too crazy, but we tried to come up with a plan for years to make these things happen... During that final year, we realized that we would not be able to achieve these goals without SOME type of sacrifice or change. So we decided to change our geographic location. In this change, the cost of living and our pay ranges adjusted - both to our benefit. This move also changed my husbands career path.
Baby #2
We completely changed our life!
Husband was now self-employed. He paints large logos, especially on buildings and water towers! His career has him travelling more often, especially during certain months of the year (like summer!). He may be gone for 1-5+ days each week during the warmest 9 months of the year.
I worked PRN, ~1-3 days/week. & actually cut down even further in hours in the 2 years following baby's birth. This means I am home with baby or my husband is if he's not working! No daycare for this one yet, and baby is now 30 months old!
It is Baby TWO which means I also have another child to care for still!
Decided to Formula Feed Day 1 given my personal mental history and our current social / lifestyle. Baby #2 was born smack in the middle of summertime.
Used a combination of Baby Led Weaning & Purees when introducing foods. I focused much more on introducing common food allergens with baby 2 as well.
Would ONLY sleep on my chest or my husbands chest during the night, ideally on baby's belly. Co-sleeping became a thing. Baby finally started sleeping through the night when able to roll - we found that baby prefers to sleep on belly..
Baby #2 has a whole group of baby friends!! Many of our friends, family, and those around us have kids of similar ages! Different socialization opportunities!
Why judge how another parent feeds…??
If you met me with Baby #2, and all you knew was that I began formula feeding day 1... I would suspect there would be some judgement from some out there. I'm sure there is still judgement from some NOW, even after sharing my story, logic, reasoning, and background! But.... why????
I do hope you consider that there is often more to a parent's story than meets the eye. Parent's most often do not just walk into parenthood completely blind... We may never totally get parenthood right, but parents are one group of people I know who tend to do SOME research when they are having a baby.. And whether their feeding, sleeping, discipline decisions differ from yours or align, we must understand that a parent is doing their best.
*& sometimes, those "choices" aren't even choices at all!!
If you do find yourself judging others on this ^^ I challenge you:
Do you know this person’s/baby’s full feeding history??
Medical condition or reasonings? Physical and/or mental! For both mom and baby!
Religious reasoning?
Concerns regarding support?
Lifestyle and responsibilities?
•If yes and you are still judging, check yourself because there is more on YOUR end to work out than Baby's mom or parent.
•If no, which I suspect to be to normal case, you have no room to judge anything. You don't have a complete picture.
Would you say this comment or thought to the face of a parent or family member of a child/infant who required nutrition through a feeding tube - the only way to receive nutrition... & not by parent's choice..?
Do you have your feeding wishes laid out in case of emergency? Infant formula is essentially the same as adult formula for tube feedings. And if you are someone who openly comments on the "chemicals" and "junk" in infant formula, this is one thing you need to truly consider..
However you and your family choose (or didn't choose..!) to feed, I hope you have all the support you need!
I am always here to help support you and point you in the best ways I can on your feeding journey.
Every journey is perfect in its own way.
You are doing a wonderful job!
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